Ok, this is easily the best news story of 2017 so far. Apparently a group of ISIS terrorists near the village of Kirkuk in northern Iraq, were killed by a stampede of wild pigs. No, really. Needless to say, this is probably the most humiliating death possible for a Muslim, and hopefully it will make the Jihadis think twice before crossing...
SQUEAL TEAM 6!
I'll go now...
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Britain's Finest Hour a Hearts of Iron 4 Playthrough Chapter 3: The Crisis Approaches
The mood in Summer, 1936 was somewhat lightened, both by the Berlin Olympics (Though Hitler took the opportunity to show off the might of the Reich) and by the hiring of well known reformer Ernest Bevin as Labour Minister. But by Autumn Britain was facing something of a domestic crisis.
It all started when King Edward VIII wanted to marry an American divorcee Wallis Simpson. Prime Minister Baldwin believed that the still fairly conservative British people would be outraged at the very idea of their King marrying a divorced woman, and urged Edward not to go through with it, but he insisted. When the matter was leaked to the public, it caused a huge scandal, with much controversy over weather the King should marry Simpson or not. The matter was made even more complicated by Edward's suspected fascist sympathies, with Sir Oswald Mosley's British Union of Fascists being particularly fervent supporters of the King. Some felt that the country was nearly on the brink of civil war. Things finally came to a head on December 9, 1936...
Village of Norchester*, Lancashire, England, December 9, 1936
"Time to close up the mill boys!" The cotton mill boss said, and all the workers immediately set about closing up shop for the day, including one George Bennett.
"Well George," his friend Frank piped up, "care to join me and me mates at the pub?"
"I don't drink Frank, remember?" George reminded Frank in his thick Northern accent.
"Aw, right, you're a Baptist. Oh well, see you tomorrow then!"
"Right. Cheerio then." George said as he wondered off. With his dusty blonde hair, wiry frame, his Protestant morals, and his Country accent, he was everyone's idea of a good old honest English worker, the type who had fought for King and Country in so many wars over the centuries. In the old days he would have been a country farmer like his Grandad had been, but things had changed a good deal since then, and these days Norchester was a factory town.
He whistled happily on his way home through the snow, looking forward to kissing his wife Vicky (she, like many women in their early thirties, was named after the late, beloved Queen) and seeing his children. And there they were when he opened the door to his cottage: Vicky listening to the radio, his little daughter Anne drawing scribbles, and his older son Edmund playing with his toy train. They both greeted him cheerfully, but Vicky seemed more wound up than anything.
"George!" She said, "Come in and listen to the radio, they just said the King's about to give a speech!"
Well, she didn't need to say that twice! It wasn't everyday you got to hear the voice of the King of England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Canada, Australia, Emperor of India... George was fairly certain he'd forgotten a few titles, but that hardly mattered at the moment, as he scattered inside, closing the door behind him.
"My loyal subjects..." The King said through the radio in his refined accent.
"Mum, is that the King?" Edmund asked.
"Yes luv, now quiet down for a moment so we can hear."
"...I have decided," The King resumed, as if he'd been waiting for the Bennetts to hush up before continuing, "that I cannot hope to rule this vast empire without Ms. Simpson by my side. Therefore, I henceforth abdicate my throne..."
Vicky switched off the radio in shock, and the room went silent. It had only been earlier that year that King George V had died, and now Britain had lost yet another king.
"Dad," Edmund said, "what's abdicate mean?"
"It means that... That the King's stepping down."
"From his throne?" Anne asked.
"No Anne. It means he's going to stop being the King." George corrected her.
"Then who will be King?" Vicky asked.
"I'm not sure. The King's not got any children,,, None that he admits to anyway..."
"GEORGE!" Vicky scolded in mock outrage.
-
A few days later, Edward VIII's brother was crowned as King George VI, and the matter was at last settled, although more than a few fascists never quite accepted Edward's abdication.
On December 16, the Germans officially announced the "Anticomintern Pact" which was an agreement between Germany and Japan to oppose communism in every way possible. While this pact was not yet a formal alliance, many saw it as a first step towards closer relations between the two fascist regimes...
In early 1937, Baldwin appointed Labour Party leader Clement Atlee as his political adviser, something most commentators saw as an attempt to reach across the aisle after the divisive Royal Crisis. In August another crisis, this one much farther away, broke out. After a border incident that many foreign observers saw as little more than a trumped up pretext for war, the Japanese invaded China. The Chinese, who had been embroiled in a civil war between the Nationalists and the Communists for years, responded to this by agreeing to a truce in their civil war, and forming a united front against the foreign invaders.
Meanwhile, in the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin announced that he had just purged several "disloyal" officials and officers. Communist fellow travelers in the West insisted that the guilty men had been given a fair trial, but most more honest observers suspected it had just been an excuse for Stalin to get rid of his political rivals.
At around the same time, Stanley Baldwin, who had dominated British politics for nearly 20 years, retired as Prime Minister, and was succeeded by his political protege Neville Chamberlain, a man who was known for his determination to prevent a second Great War from ever occurring. Nonetheless, he chose to remain neutral as Asia burst into war. He also chose to stand by in December of that year, as Mussolini made claims on Yugoslavian territory, and as Spain broke out into civil war between the Republicans (supported by Stalin) and the Nationalists (supported by Hitler and Mussolini.) Increasingly, the aggressive fascist and communist powers began to see Chamberlain as a weak leader, who would not act to prevent or punish their aggression, and this only encouraged them to act out even more.
In February of 1938, German troops marched into Austria. The Austrian troops did not resist this invasion, and many Austrians (except the Jewish ones of course) greeted the German troops with cheers. The next day Hitler announced that Austria was now officially part of the Greater German Reich. Once again, Chamberlain failed to condemn this outrageous violation of the Treaty of Versailles. As Chamberlain tried to justify it "Austria is after all, a German speaking land." Behind the scenes though, he promised President Edvard Benes of Czechoslovakia that Britain would go to war with Hitler if he attacked Czechoslovakia. Little did he know that this was just the country Hitler was eyeing up as his next target.
The stage was now set for a crisis that would make the Summer \of 1914 look like child's play...
...DUN DUN DUN!!!...
It all started when King Edward VIII wanted to marry an American divorcee Wallis Simpson. Prime Minister Baldwin believed that the still fairly conservative British people would be outraged at the very idea of their King marrying a divorced woman, and urged Edward not to go through with it, but he insisted. When the matter was leaked to the public, it caused a huge scandal, with much controversy over weather the King should marry Simpson or not. The matter was made even more complicated by Edward's suspected fascist sympathies, with Sir Oswald Mosley's British Union of Fascists being particularly fervent supporters of the King. Some felt that the country was nearly on the brink of civil war. Things finally came to a head on December 9, 1936...
Village of Norchester*, Lancashire, England, December 9, 1936
"Time to close up the mill boys!" The cotton mill boss said, and all the workers immediately set about closing up shop for the day, including one George Bennett.
"Well George," his friend Frank piped up, "care to join me and me mates at the pub?"
"I don't drink Frank, remember?" George reminded Frank in his thick Northern accent.
"Aw, right, you're a Baptist. Oh well, see you tomorrow then!"
"Right. Cheerio then." George said as he wondered off. With his dusty blonde hair, wiry frame, his Protestant morals, and his Country accent, he was everyone's idea of a good old honest English worker, the type who had fought for King and Country in so many wars over the centuries. In the old days he would have been a country farmer like his Grandad had been, but things had changed a good deal since then, and these days Norchester was a factory town.
He whistled happily on his way home through the snow, looking forward to kissing his wife Vicky (she, like many women in their early thirties, was named after the late, beloved Queen) and seeing his children. And there they were when he opened the door to his cottage: Vicky listening to the radio, his little daughter Anne drawing scribbles, and his older son Edmund playing with his toy train. They both greeted him cheerfully, but Vicky seemed more wound up than anything.
"George!" She said, "Come in and listen to the radio, they just said the King's about to give a speech!"
Well, she didn't need to say that twice! It wasn't everyday you got to hear the voice of the King of England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Canada, Australia, Emperor of India... George was fairly certain he'd forgotten a few titles, but that hardly mattered at the moment, as he scattered inside, closing the door behind him.
"My loyal subjects..." The King said through the radio in his refined accent.
"Mum, is that the King?" Edmund asked.
"Yes luv, now quiet down for a moment so we can hear."
"...I have decided," The King resumed, as if he'd been waiting for the Bennetts to hush up before continuing, "that I cannot hope to rule this vast empire without Ms. Simpson by my side. Therefore, I henceforth abdicate my throne..."
Vicky switched off the radio in shock, and the room went silent. It had only been earlier that year that King George V had died, and now Britain had lost yet another king.
"Dad," Edmund said, "what's abdicate mean?"
"It means that... That the King's stepping down."
"From his throne?" Anne asked.
"No Anne. It means he's going to stop being the King." George corrected her.
"Then who will be King?" Vicky asked.
"I'm not sure. The King's not got any children,,, None that he admits to anyway..."
"GEORGE!" Vicky scolded in mock outrage.
-
A few days later, Edward VIII's brother was crowned as King George VI, and the matter was at last settled, although more than a few fascists never quite accepted Edward's abdication.
On December 16, the Germans officially announced the "Anticomintern Pact" which was an agreement between Germany and Japan to oppose communism in every way possible. While this pact was not yet a formal alliance, many saw it as a first step towards closer relations between the two fascist regimes...
In early 1937, Baldwin appointed Labour Party leader Clement Atlee as his political adviser, something most commentators saw as an attempt to reach across the aisle after the divisive Royal Crisis. In August another crisis, this one much farther away, broke out. After a border incident that many foreign observers saw as little more than a trumped up pretext for war, the Japanese invaded China. The Chinese, who had been embroiled in a civil war between the Nationalists and the Communists for years, responded to this by agreeing to a truce in their civil war, and forming a united front against the foreign invaders.
Meanwhile, in the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin announced that he had just purged several "disloyal" officials and officers. Communist fellow travelers in the West insisted that the guilty men had been given a fair trial, but most more honest observers suspected it had just been an excuse for Stalin to get rid of his political rivals.
At around the same time, Stanley Baldwin, who had dominated British politics for nearly 20 years, retired as Prime Minister, and was succeeded by his political protege Neville Chamberlain, a man who was known for his determination to prevent a second Great War from ever occurring. Nonetheless, he chose to remain neutral as Asia burst into war. He also chose to stand by in December of that year, as Mussolini made claims on Yugoslavian territory, and as Spain broke out into civil war between the Republicans (supported by Stalin) and the Nationalists (supported by Hitler and Mussolini.) Increasingly, the aggressive fascist and communist powers began to see Chamberlain as a weak leader, who would not act to prevent or punish their aggression, and this only encouraged them to act out even more.
In February of 1938, German troops marched into Austria. The Austrian troops did not resist this invasion, and many Austrians (except the Jewish ones of course) greeted the German troops with cheers. The next day Hitler announced that Austria was now officially part of the Greater German Reich. Once again, Chamberlain failed to condemn this outrageous violation of the Treaty of Versailles. As Chamberlain tried to justify it "Austria is after all, a German speaking land." Behind the scenes though, he promised President Edvard Benes of Czechoslovakia that Britain would go to war with Hitler if he attacked Czechoslovakia. Little did he know that this was just the country Hitler was eyeing up as his next target.
The stage was now set for a crisis that would make the Summer \of 1914 look like child's play...
...DUN DUN DUN!!!...
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Britain's Finest Hour A Hearts of Iron 4 Play Through Chapter 2: The Road to War
Most of the rest of Stanley Baldwin's time as Prime Minister was occupied by colonial policy. Concerned that Britain's far flung empire would be vulnerable in the event of war, Baldwin enacted a number of reforms to strengthen imperial defense. The most most important of these was the Overseas Service Program, in which British officers would be regularly rotated through various different colonial outposts, allowing them to gain important experience and intelligence about the various different fronts...
May 21, 1936, Delhi, British India
Captain Charles Wellesley supposed he should have expected this when he signed up for the Military Academy. He'd hoped for a nice comfortable post. He had a wife and a young daughter after all. But he should have realized that comfortable places usually didn't need nearly as many troops as uncomfortable places, and as far he was concerned, India fell decisively into the latter camp.
But as uncomfortable as it was, it was also fascinating and exotic, just as he'd imagined as he read those Kipling books as a boy. The people, the music, the buildings, the food, the constant tribal bickering (well, all right, he could have done without that bit) all mesmerized him.
He was less enchanted with having to deal with the people though...
"ATTENTION!" He shouted, and his Indian troops rather clumsily snapped into shape, or something vaguely resembling it. Many of their khaki uniforms were somewhat ill fitting. Many of them worse turbans, except for the Christians, who preferred to wear British style helmets. More than a few of them slouched a bit, and nearly all of them held their rifles quite clumsily. It would be up to Captain Wellesley to try and turn these tramps into a proper army, and he could already tell it wouldn't be easy.
"Permission to speak Captain?" One of the Hindus asked.
"Granted."
"Captain, I am afraid I cannot serve alongside these men."
"And why is that?" Wellesley demanded.
"Because sir, they are..." He lowered his voice, "Untouchables. To associate with them brings dishonor upon me. I would like to request that..."
Wellesley marched right up into the upstart Private's face.
"REQUEST DENIED! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BLOODY BACKWARDS RELIGION'S RULES! AS LONG AS YOU ARE IN THE BRITISH ARMY YOU WILL FOLLOW BRITISH RULES, AND THAT'S AN ORDER!"
He turned to the rest of them.
"Now, time for drill. Lieutenant McGregor!"
"Yes sir?" A redheaded man with an Ulster Scots accent replied.
"See to it that these men are properly drilled."
"YES SIR!" McGregor snapped to attention. "ALRIGHT MEN! HUP 2 3 4..." They all marched off behind him as Captain Wellesley retired to his quarters. When he entered his old style bungalow, he was greeted by his Indian Maid, Ms. Singh dusting the walls, while his wife Elizabeth held their sleeping baby daughter Diana as they listened to very British music on the radio. Charles mused for a moment that his daughter had been born here, and had never known any other country. "Some place to raise a child..." He murmured.
"Aw Darling!" Elizabeth said, "How were things at the barracks?"
"Alright." He said. He didn't care to trouble her with what had happened earlier.
Just then the song on the radio ended, and the very posh voice of an announcer began speaking.
"Welcome to the BBC News Program! The British Parliament recently passed a new act, allowing for the finest minds in the colonies to be brought to study together in London. What eactly they will be working on there is unknown..."
Wellesley didn't know either, but being a military man, he suspected that it was some sort of secret weapons project as likely as not.
"In other news, Prime Minister Baldwin has hired Phillip Kerr as his Foreign Minister. Mr. Kerr previously worked in the Lloyd George and Ramsay MacDonald governments, and played a large role in drafting the Treaty of Versailles. He has been a well known peace activist, and it is expected that this desire for peace will have a large influence on his foreign policy."
Wellesley wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. He liked peace as much as anyone, but if peace meant giving in to people like Adolf Hitler, he wasn't sure it was worth it.
"Mr. Kerr has also announced his plans to strengthen Britain's ties with our Dominions: Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa, as well as our other colonies like India and Malaya. According to Kerr, this will involve aiding them in further developing their infrastructure and defenses."
Aw, that was more like it! Anything that furthered the cause of imperial unity could only be a good thing!
Elizabeth reached to switch the radio off. "Well" she yawned, "I'm ready to retire to bed. What about you Charles?"
"That sounds lovely dear." He replied. After Elizabeth handed Diana to Ms. Chandra, he followed her to bed for the night.
-
So, let me know in the comments what you thought of this more character based chapter.
May 21, 1936, Delhi, British India
Captain Charles Wellesley supposed he should have expected this when he signed up for the Military Academy. He'd hoped for a nice comfortable post. He had a wife and a young daughter after all. But he should have realized that comfortable places usually didn't need nearly as many troops as uncomfortable places, and as far he was concerned, India fell decisively into the latter camp.
But as uncomfortable as it was, it was also fascinating and exotic, just as he'd imagined as he read those Kipling books as a boy. The people, the music, the buildings, the food, the constant tribal bickering (well, all right, he could have done without that bit) all mesmerized him.
He was less enchanted with having to deal with the people though...
"ATTENTION!" He shouted, and his Indian troops rather clumsily snapped into shape, or something vaguely resembling it. Many of their khaki uniforms were somewhat ill fitting. Many of them worse turbans, except for the Christians, who preferred to wear British style helmets. More than a few of them slouched a bit, and nearly all of them held their rifles quite clumsily. It would be up to Captain Wellesley to try and turn these tramps into a proper army, and he could already tell it wouldn't be easy.
"Permission to speak Captain?" One of the Hindus asked.
"Granted."
"Captain, I am afraid I cannot serve alongside these men."
"And why is that?" Wellesley demanded.
"Because sir, they are..." He lowered his voice, "Untouchables. To associate with them brings dishonor upon me. I would like to request that..."
Wellesley marched right up into the upstart Private's face.
"REQUEST DENIED! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BLOODY BACKWARDS RELIGION'S RULES! AS LONG AS YOU ARE IN THE BRITISH ARMY YOU WILL FOLLOW BRITISH RULES, AND THAT'S AN ORDER!"
He turned to the rest of them.
"Now, time for drill. Lieutenant McGregor!"
"Yes sir?" A redheaded man with an Ulster Scots accent replied.
"See to it that these men are properly drilled."
"YES SIR!" McGregor snapped to attention. "ALRIGHT MEN! HUP 2 3 4..." They all marched off behind him as Captain Wellesley retired to his quarters. When he entered his old style bungalow, he was greeted by his Indian Maid, Ms. Singh dusting the walls, while his wife Elizabeth held their sleeping baby daughter Diana as they listened to very British music on the radio. Charles mused for a moment that his daughter had been born here, and had never known any other country. "Some place to raise a child..." He murmured.
"Aw Darling!" Elizabeth said, "How were things at the barracks?"
"Alright." He said. He didn't care to trouble her with what had happened earlier.
Just then the song on the radio ended, and the very posh voice of an announcer began speaking.
"Welcome to the BBC News Program! The British Parliament recently passed a new act, allowing for the finest minds in the colonies to be brought to study together in London. What eactly they will be working on there is unknown..."
Wellesley didn't know either, but being a military man, he suspected that it was some sort of secret weapons project as likely as not.
"In other news, Prime Minister Baldwin has hired Phillip Kerr as his Foreign Minister. Mr. Kerr previously worked in the Lloyd George and Ramsay MacDonald governments, and played a large role in drafting the Treaty of Versailles. He has been a well known peace activist, and it is expected that this desire for peace will have a large influence on his foreign policy."
Wellesley wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. He liked peace as much as anyone, but if peace meant giving in to people like Adolf Hitler, he wasn't sure it was worth it.
"Mr. Kerr has also announced his plans to strengthen Britain's ties with our Dominions: Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa, as well as our other colonies like India and Malaya. According to Kerr, this will involve aiding them in further developing their infrastructure and defenses."
Aw, that was more like it! Anything that furthered the cause of imperial unity could only be a good thing!
Elizabeth reached to switch the radio off. "Well" she yawned, "I'm ready to retire to bed. What about you Charles?"
"That sounds lovely dear." He replied. After Elizabeth handed Diana to Ms. Chandra, he followed her to bed for the night.
-
So, let me know in the comments what you thought of this more character based chapter.
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