Hey y'all, and welcome to the first review of Star Trek Month! Today we're gonna get the worst Star Trek film out of the way first: Star Trek: The Motion Picture. This movie sure is... Something... Actually, you know what, no, this movie isn't something. It's literally nothing. There is nothing of substance in this movie. This movie is literally so boring that me and my siblings spent most of it talking about Scooby Doo for some reason.
The "plot" of this "movie" (and I'm using both terms VERY loosely) is that there's some weird space anomaly (I believe "thingie" is the scientific term) approaching Earth, and the Enterprise is sent to investigate. Yup, the plot is weak with this one. Oh, there are some subplots about getting the old crew back together, Spock searching for logic, Kirk having a rivalry with the new captain, even a love story between the new captain and some bald chick, but none of it seems to go much of anywhere.
But the plot isn't the biggest problem with this movie. That would be the special effects. They're really not that impressive, even for 1979 when this movie was made, and what's worse, the filmmakers feel the need to show them off with long sequences where we see the effects, with basically NOTHING of substance happening, not even dialogue most of the time. I feel like they were trying to make this movie kind of 2001: A Space Odyssey, you know, a movie without much in the way of story or dialogue, but that makes up for it with really impressive visuals. The problem is that, like I said, this movie just doesn't have impressive enough visuals for that.
Basically, the only good thing about this movie was that it relaunched (Get it?) the Star Trek franchise after a 10 year hiatus. Oh, and also the music was so good that it was later used as the theme song for Star Trek: The Next Generation, my personal favorite Star Trek series ever. But other than that, this movie was a huge waste of time, and I recommend giving it a miss.
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... Captain Kirk: SPOOOOOCCCCKKKKK!
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