J.J. Abrams Star Trek Films

I've decided to cover both J.J. Abrams Star Trek movies in one post because I want to rap up Star Trek Month quickly.

In the first Abrams Star Trek film, the original Enterprise crew is re imagined as a group of young Starfleet Academy cadets trying to stop an evil  Romulan from destroying Earth. Overall, I actually like this movie, despite the fact that there's a fair amount of hate for it amongst the Trekkie community.

In Star Trek: Into Darkness, Kirk goes after a terrorist who assassinated a Starfleet admiral. I like this movie too, although I don't care much for the ending. Basically (Spoiler Alert) the terrorist is Khan and Kirk sacrifices himself to defeats him, resulting in Spock shouting "KHAAAAAAAN!!!". Don't worry, Kirk gets revived at the end, but that doesn't change the fact that the the end of this movie is basically a rehash of the end of Wrath of Khan, only not as good.

Overall, I've got to say that I like the recast actors, and the special effects, but I honestly would have preferred more Next Generation films.

Star Trek VIII Movie Review

Ok folks, in case you're wondering why I've skipped from Star Trek VI to Star Trek VIII, I've got some bad news for you. I don't have Star Trek VII, Star Trek IX or Star Trek X on DVD or Netflix, so we are going to have to skip a few of the films unfortunately, so sorry about that. I really should have checked that before starting these reviews. Oh well. On the bright side, we've maTde it to my favorite Star Trek movie of all!

Before I talk about the plot of this movie, I'm gonna have to give some backstory. Back in the Star Trek: The Next Generation TV series, there was a two part episode where Picard got assimilated by the Borg. (For those who aren't familiar with Trek lore, the Borg are a hive mind race of cyborgs who seek to absorb other life forms.) Although he was rescued eventually, the incident clearly traumatized him, and by the time this movie takes place he seems to be suffering from shell shock. Notice how, like Star Trek II, this movie is basically a sequel to some of the TV episodes, and I think this is a great way of expanding on previously established stories.

Anyway, in this movie the Borg travel back in time to before humanity made first contact with the Vulcans, in an attempt to prevent the Federation from ever being formed, and Picard and his his crew have to stop them.

As I mentioned earlier this month, I prefer Picard over Kirk for a number of reasons, and this movie is a great example of one of the biggest ones: acting. Patrick Stewart is really top notch here. Can anyone really say they prefer the Price Line Negotiator over Hamlet with a straight face?

So yeah, this is by far my favorite Star Trek movie.

Star Trek VI Movie Review

Ok, here we are. The last of the Star Trek movies featuring the original cast, and thankfully, they went out with a bang.

In this movie, Kirk and his crew attend treaty negotiations with the Klingons to finally end the cold war between the United Federation of Planets and the Klingon Empire, and have to stop a plot to assassinate the Federation and Klingon leaders.

This movie came out in 1991, so as you probably guessed, this movie was based on the real life Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union, which had only recently ended at the time of the movies release, and I'd say this movie makes for pretty good political/historical commentary. Even today, I think this movie still has a good pro-peace message.

Over all, this movie has good acting, good writing, and a good story. I give this one an A.

Star Trek V Movie Review

If I had to pick a phrase to describe this movie, I think it would be "William Shatner's Mid-Life Crisis: The Movie!!!" because it really does come across as Mr. Shatner trying to boost his own ego at the expense of the rest of the cast, which is more than a little off putting.

This movie is about Shatner... I mean Kirk, trying to stop a crazy cult leader from meeting God. (Surprisingly, Mr. Shatner chose not to play the role of God himself.)

...

... Yeah, it's just as stupid as it sounds.

Bottom line, the thing to take away from this movie is that William Shatner should NOT have power.

Star Trek IV Movie Review

Ok, now we're back on the good side of the Star Trek movies.

In this movie a weird alien probe shows up over Earth and demands to speak to the blue whales... Just go with it... Who apparently went extinct 100 years ago in the Star Trek Universe, so Kirk and crew go back in time to the 1980s to save the whales!!!....

...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... Ok, I'm sorry, it's just... That plot is just so hilariously stupid, I love it! That being said, it's also pretty simple, and after the overly complex mess that was Star Trek III, it really is a breath of fresh air.

This movie is also definitely more comedy oriented than most of the other Star Trek movies, which was a fun and interesting direction to take the franchise in.

Tomorrow, we'll be tackling one of the worst Star Trek Movies ever though...

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock Movie Review

Ok, I normally try to avoid spoilers in these reviews, but to explain the plot of this movie I kind of have to spoil the end of Star Trek II. So, to put a long story short, Spock dies at the end of Star Trek II, and this movie, as it's name implies, is about searching for Spock, who apparently could potentially be revived because apparently Spock's soul has possessed Dr. McCoy. Oh, and there's a planet that can revive people. Oh, and the Klingons are after them.

As you can probably tell, this movie has a really complex plot. In fact, I would say that if Star Trek I had too little plot, and Star Trek II had just the right plot, this movie has too much plot. It's just too complicated, and it's also kind of boring, so I honestly had kind of a hard time following it. It's still miles better than Star Trek I, (because at least stuff is happening) but it's no where near as good as Star Trek II.

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock Movie Review

Ok, I normally try to avoid spoilers in these reviews, but to explain the plot of this movie I kind of have to spoil the end of Star Trek II. So, to put a long story short, Spock dies at the end of Star Trek II, and this movie, as it's name implies, is about searching for Spock, who apparently could potentially be revived because apparently Spock's soul has possessed Dr. McCoy. Oh, and there's a planet that can revive people. Oh, and the Klingons are after them.

As you can probably tell, this movie has a really complex plot. In fact, I would say that if Star Trek I had too little plot, and Star Trek II had just the right plot, this movie has too much plot. It's just too complicated, and it's also kind of boring, so I honestly had kind of a hard time following it. It's still miles better than Star Trek I, (because at least stuff is happening) but it's no where near as good as Star Trek II.

Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan Movie Review

Ok, today we're going from the worst Star Trek move to one of the best.

This film was sort of a sequel to Space Seed, probably the best episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. Without spoiling too much about that episode (because I plan to talk about it a bit more later this month) that episode had Kirk meeting a war criminal named Khan whom he defeated by marooning him on a desert planet. And now, about 20 or so years later in universe, Khan is back and wants revenge on Kirk.

Like the first film, the plot here is pretty simple. Unlike the first film though, it's also interesting enough to carry an entire movie without having to pad out the run time with long and pointless scenes showing off their crummy special effects.

Over all, I think this movie deserves it's reputation as one of the best Star Trek movies, and I strongly recommend it.

Kirk or Picard?

As the great man Al Jancovic once said "Only question I ever thought was hard, do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?" I however, do not find that question hard. I deeply, profoundly prefer Picard. Why? Because, frankly, I think Picard is a better captain and a more interesting character over all.

Why do I think Picard is a better captain? Because he's much less reckless and more cautious. Kirk would pretty much break the rules whenever he wanted, and while Picard was sometimes known to bend the rules in order to do what was right, he was usually a lot more reasonable about it. Basically,if I were in Starfleet, I think I'd be a lot more likely to survive on Picard's Enterprise.

So yeah, Picard wins for me.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture Review

Hey y'all, and welcome to the first review of Star Trek Month! Today we're gonna get the worst Star Trek film out of the way first: Star Trek: The Motion Picture. This movie sure is... Something... Actually, you know what, no, this movie isn't something. It's literally nothing. There is nothing of substance in this movie. This movie is literally so boring that me and my siblings spent most of it talking about Scooby Doo for some reason.

The "plot" of this "movie" (and I'm using both terms VERY loosely) is that there's some weird space anomaly (I believe "thingie" is the scientific term) approaching Earth, and the Enterprise is sent to investigate. Yup, the plot is weak with this one. Oh, there are some subplots about getting the old crew back together, Spock searching for logic, Kirk having a rivalry with the new captain, even a love story between the new captain and some bald chick, but none of it seems to go much of anywhere.

But the plot isn't the biggest problem with this movie. That would be the special effects. They're really not that impressive, even for 1979 when this movie was made, and what's worse, the filmmakers feel the need to show them off with long sequences where we see the effects, with basically NOTHING of substance happening, not even dialogue most of the time. I feel like they were trying to make this movie kind of 2001: A Space Odyssey, you know, a movie without much in the way of story or dialogue, but that makes up for it with really impressive visuals. The problem is that, like I said, this movie just doesn't have impressive enough visuals for that.

Basically, the only good thing about this movie was that it relaunched (Get it?) the Star Trek franchise after a 10 year hiatus. Oh, and also the music was so good that it was later used as the theme song for Star Trek: The Next Generation, my personal favorite Star Trek series ever. But other than that, this movie was a huge waste of time, and I recommend giving it a miss.

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... Captain Kirk: SPOOOOOCCCCKKKKK!

To Boldly Go Where No Month Has Gone Before

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and assorted aliens and androids! I just wanted to let y'all know that, in honor of Star Trek's 50th Anniversary being this month, (and the fact that the new Star Trek film will also be coming out this month) I've decided that July will be Star Trek Month here at the Database! I'll be reviewing all of the Star Trek films, culminating in a review of the new film towards the end of the month, and I'll also probably doing a lot other Star Trek themed posts too. Set phasers to geek out!

Why Jar Jar Binks Needs To Die A Painful Death

As anyone who has seen the Star Wars prequels knows, Jar Jar Binks is the Devil. Ok, I may be exaggerating, but only slightly really. Maybe only most people know. But what makes Jar Jar such an abomination exactly? Well besides his annoying voice and character design that makes me want to vomit, there's the fact that he's possibly a racist stereotype.

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, many people have suggested that his odd speaking patterns, (you know, "MEESA YOU'RE HUMBLE SERVENT!" "MEESA BACK!" "MEESA THE REINCARNATION OF ADOLF HITLER!"... I made up one of these quotes, can you guess which one?) is similar to those old blackface characters from old timey minstrel shows. So there's that. To be perfectly honest, that probably wasn't George Lucas's intention, but that's how it came across to a lot of people.

Also, Jar Jar Binks was voiced by some guy named Ahmed Best, which despite the last name, is the worst name ever.

Why Moffat Needs To Stop It

Let me get this out of the way right off the bat. I like Doctor Who. A lot. I like the 2005- present revival of the show. A lot. But I dislike Steven Moffat. A lot.

Don't get me wrong, when it comes to things like casting, he's great. Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi have both made great Doctors (In fact, Matt Smith is my favorite Doctor), and Amy and Rory are easily my favorite companions. I even liked Clara... At first. But then Moffat just had to go and ruin it.

You see, Clara started out as a bit of a level headed but somewhat feisty counterpart to the 11th Doctor, and back then she was a fun character. Maybe not quite as well developed as Amy and Rory had been, but it was early on in her run, so that was to be expected. In any case, she was definitely better than River Song by a long shot. (Shudders violently.)

But then, after Matt Smith left and Peter Capaldi replaced him, things changed. Clara became whinier, bossier, more of a control freak, and just generally a much less likable character. Peter Capaldi's great acting makes up for it a little, but not enough to save the newer episodes, especially since the show focused so much on Clara that the new Doctor barely got any development. And don't even get me started an how they brought She That Must Not Be Named River Song back.

So yeah, overall, the newer episodes of Doctor Who just haven't really impressed me, and I honestly don't have very high hopes for Season 10. I hope I'm wrong. I desperately want to like Doctor Who again. But if things keep going the way they are, I won't get my hopes up.

...WHAT?!!!

So apparently Captain America has been a Nazi the whole time!...

...Yes, seriously.

Recently, the guy who wrote the Captain America comics decided to reveal that Captain America has been working for HYDRA the whole time. He even tweeted "Heil Hitler" on Twitter. Seriously, that's like revealing that your character is in the KKK and then tweeting "Don't you just hate black People?" Don't get me wrong, he was probably kidding, but still.

This is by far the worst plot twist I've ever heard. For one thing, it implies that the symbol of America is a Nazi, which is kind of troubling. For another, it means that the kind and heroic personality Cap has had for decades now has all been an act. and finally, we all know that this is going to be retconned later, so what's even the point?

Even Chris Evans hates this plot twist, and I definitely agree with him on this.