Bronies, or Why Civilization As We Know It Is Doomed

Memorial Day is obviously a day to remember and respect those who have fought to defend our country, and I really respect that. Unfortunately, I can't help thinking that if those brave soldiers had known that one day bronies would exist, they might not have bothered.

What are bronies you may ask?...

...Terrible.

Seriously though, bronies are a subculture of fat, middle aged men who like My Little Pony. You know, that kids show that my little sister grew out of before she was even born. Seriously, even a 5 year old girl would be like "Dude, this is sad." 

So why do these people exist? Presumably it's some sort of Illuminati conspiracy to make us all 20 % dumber, but you didn't hear that from me.